If you’ve never been around chickens, there’s a reason kids say “chickening out”. These birds run from everything. They dodge, they flap desperately in half-flight. They squawk and they freak out. 🐓

Well, awhile back, I was coaching someone and our conversation was a little like chasing an extremely anxious chicken.

In our session, I’d suggest, they’d dart away.

I’d inquire, they’d refuse.

I’d question, they’d hedge.

I’d almost have them cornered to commit...

and they’d take a desperate flight out of the conversation.

Finally, I had to ask,

“Whose side are you on, dear? I’m on your side...are you?”

There are so many ways that we are well practiced in NOT showing up for ourselves. So many ways to abandon ourselves.

• Imposter syndrome I am not really who they think I am. They’ll find out.
• Lack of confidence I don’t believe I can do it.
• Poor storytelling I don’t really have a grasp on my story and skills.
• Unclear personal values and goals I’m not sure what matters to me right now.
• Continual overwhelm I allow urgency to lead to burnout.
• Hopelessness I believe it’s like this now and it will never change.
• Obstacle construction I ensure I have too many things blocking me.

Bad, right?

I mean, I have a stomach ache from typing this stuff. And I’m sure you can relate to at least a few of these issues.

I work with people struggling with these issues everyday. And as a coach, I can’t really “give” someone confidence. I can support them. I can help them clarify how to pitch their skills in an interview. We can talk about showing up in any room with confidence and presence (and I’ve got great tools to help). I can share best practices. We work through exercises and dive into deep discussions around every issue above.

But can I also give you a shortcut?

Something you can do right now?

Be on your own side.

Just be on your own side.

💪 If you can’t stride through life with un-dentable confidence (yet) at least don’t tear yourself down.

💪 If you aren’t able to rattle off a tight elevator pitch (yet) at least believe that there’s one in there waiting to be uncovered.

💪 Know that you have done things in your professional career that are worth sharing and will add value to other people - sure, you might need a moment to find a few words to attach to your experience. Ypu'll get there.

💪 If you can’t have those difficult conversations with confidence (yet), have some self-compassion and promise yourself you’ll stick with it until you can land your message.

💪 If you can’t have grace and ease in leadership (yet) at least remember something that once felt awkward but is now natural and easy.

Being on your own side means:

• Having self compassion
• Knowing you are capable (and have proof from your past actions a million times over) and can figure it out.
• Staying curious about the moment instead of being judgmental about yourself.
• Having a bit of a sense of humor at your own weird (but lovable) ways

Why am I writing about this in a newsletter about work and leadership?

Well, my clients that really take off - the ones that really soar - they are on their own side. They don’t just invest in coaching, but they take action with a belief something good will come of it.

Often we don’t want to take risks because those risks may make us feel dumb or small. But those risks are also how you expand and get smart!

So, am I asking you to climb up the highest high-dive and leap?

No. But can you start on the diving board? Can you put a little into betting on yourself with some positive expectation?

This week, notice when you are on your own side and when you are making things harder for yourself. Listen to your self talk. Track your expectations around outcomes.

Pick yourself. Be on your own side.

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