“Build Trust” is a mantra you hear in newsletters, on LinkedIn posts and in common wisdom. That makes sense. We want to work with folks we can trust. We want to be trustworthy.

But, sometimes, life happens. We miss the deadline. We step on toes. Maybe forget a promise made. Stuff changes, we strike out.

Those moments break trust. (Whether we admit it or not.)

So, what’s your response?
Broken trust can (and needs) to be repaired.

And, when something goes sideways, be accountable, listen to the impact, take responsibility and commit to actions to repair the damaged relationships.

But how?

First, accept you make a mistake. It’s natural to get defensive or feel afraid. We can quickly project our problem onto someone else, which removes ourselves from feeling bad. (“It’s not MY fault!”)

Acknowledge your part in the issue honestly. If you’re a leader, you may not have been directly involved, but you are responsible. Time to step up.

Come to the table committed to both hearing the impact and taking action to fix things.

Ultimately, you have a chance to make the relationship stronger than before.

Here’s a sample outline for the conversation:
• Recently I messed up.  
- Or…Recently, the team messed up. As a leader, I’m responsible.
• I know this impacted you/the product/our clients and I’m sorry.
• I want to make this right…
- …what do we need to do?
- …here’s what I propose we do
- …in the future I’ll make sure…
- …and I need to look into the problem further to figure out best next steps. I’ll circle back in a few days and give you the update.
• Finally, after you’ve started your new actions, check in to give an update and see if your person is feeling satisfied with new plans/actions

Everyone makes mistakes. It can bring up feelings of shame, frustration, embarrassment, and more. But owning up and making a plan for better action in the future will be remembered and strengthens the relationship.

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