We live within a story that we are alone and independent. The voice in your head tells you, "I need to figure out problems in life alone. I need to fix my issues alone. If I am struggling, I need to get myself together and NOT struggle. I need to simply do better. I should do better."
This story also extends into work. Singlehandedly, you need to come to a meeting with the correct all encompassing solution. You need to be responsible. You need to unbreak broken things within your team. Now. You should take ownership and fix all problems that come your way - alone. (And also your kid's problems, and also your friend's problems, BTW.)
This attitude comes from your own deep care and ambition. You want to do more. You want to make more. (And, honestly, aren't you afraid of the consequences if you don't?) These demands come from your own high expectations and better ideas and the feeling you should be able to handle it all.
Besides, this matters! You want to make better things happen in this world.
But you feel more pressure, more isolation and you are more lonely than ever before.
how long do you suffer until you ask for help?
No matter the moment, if you're struggling look around for those who can be of help. There's a coach, a group, a counselor, a teacher, a community of folks that can be the key to your next step. You can connect with someone who brings a new perspective, wisdom, a listening ear and support. And YOU can be all those things for another person.
here's how I can help:
Coaching - as a coach, I work with clients to open new possibilities for their lives at work and at home. We can create stress-strategies to manage difficult times, figure out step by step approaches to difficult conversations, build new skills to be an authentic leader and practice more effective conversations -- all in the service of getting you what you want. My clients are in between jobs, or hoping to move into new roles soon, want promotions and have gotten promotions or need to make life changes. Let’s talk.
RETHINK - Each month, I meet with a small group through RETHINK to learn how to move beyond overwhelm, balance competing priorities, and influence others to drive desired outcomes. You meet others that have similar issues and experiences, but also offer wisdom and practical support. I coach you through how to take it step-by-step and you leave with some inspiration and direction. RETHINK is a network for designers, managers, and directors, offering frameworks, methods, and best practices from design experts to help you advance your career in leadership, whether as an individual contributor or in design management. Join us in February.
Women’s Leadership Circle - Last year, I started a women's leadership circle. It's been a huge success in gaining valuable insights, practical tools, and getting to know a small supportive community. We focus on three core pillars: better communication, low-stress leadership, and building trusted relationships with ourselves and others to unlock our inherent power. Our members bring wisdom, support, resources and listening ears. Waitlist here, starts in March.
Navigating Uncertainty - In a world that feels increasingly unpredictable, uncertainty has become our constant companion. This transformative workshop meets 2x in February is designed to turn your anxiety about the unknown into a powerful source of personal growth and resilience. Check it out.
...and more ideas:
Community volunteering - choose something you care about and you’ll find an organization waiting for you. It’s incredibly reassuring to connect with (many, many) others who care as much as you do about similar issues. If you don’t know where to start, a quick Google search or Reddit search can help. Time is a limited resource for all of us, but even a bit of volunteering or service can re-ignite the sense of being part of something bigger.
Make your own circle - DIY! Just make your own circle of connection. Start with a friend and a purpose. Bring in a few more folks, adjust how and where you meet to suit the moment. People are waiting for invitations to connect. Things may start slowly and that’s okay. It can be simple and social or purpose-driven. Priya Parker and Kat Vellos have done great work in helping you get started.
Community member not consumer - Where are you already going? Who do you already know? Just making a small commitment to become a community member (not just a consumer) at school, work, church, your local park, your gym or any existing community you may be a part of can be a huge step in reconnecting to the “we”.
Find a buddy - It helps to have a pal to keep you accountable for showing up (especially at first). Find someone who can keep you on course and encourage you to keep showing up. You can find someone else who also wants more community (and wants to go with you) or maybe someone who can text encouraging memes from a distance.
This isn’t a time to feel like you’re alone. Break down that myth that you have to DO it alone or you have to BE alone with your struggle. You can learn, find a mentor, work with a coach, find ways to connect, and find support in a thousand ways. Helping and connecting with others can unblock your creativity and your energy and open new worlds.
