Change can fuel ton of anxiety. Professional lives are getting overturned especially in design and technology.
Since we are wired to believe we depend on certainty and safety to survive, it really sucks when things are uncertain. Although fear can provide a useful reaction in emergencies, generalized anxiety and worrying can drain our creative problem solving abilities.
Here are a few tried and true ways I keep myself calm and focused when I’m facing changes I didn’t initiate.
1. “I’ve done this before.”
Recognize whatever qualities you need now are usually ways you’ve been before. “I’ve been strong before” is more reassuring than “I need to be strong right now”. Reminding yourself of times in the past that you’ve been creative and resourceful can be grounding.
2. “Everyone has strengths. Of course that includes me.”
For some reason, it can be easier to be generous about others having talents and skills, while devaluing our own. Everyone has value and talents to offer. You might need help putting yours into words that, but it is there. (Need help with getting it into words? One of my friends dumped her performance reviews into ChatGPT and asked it to summarize her strengths.)
3. “I don’t know YET.”
This is pure growth mindset. The idea that we should naturally know the answer or easily have a skill just doesn’t hold up in real life. You don’t know the answer, but you are capable of figuring it out. You might not have the skill, but you are capable of learning and practicing to get better. You don’t know NOW but you will soon.
4. “What’s one thing do I need to do today to create the future I want?”
This came from my podcast guest and retirement coach Serene Lewis and lives on a post-it on my desk now. It’s such a powerful reminder that we can put energy and effort toward something immediately that will build to create a more positive future.
5. “What’s one thing I DO know right now?”
Don’t get lost in the not-knowing. You have life experiences, earned wisdom and a sense for what could help. Start with what you do know… or suspect might be a good action. Practice tuning into your inner wisdom by taking a calm walk in nature. Journaling for 10 minutes.
6. “Who could help?”
Just like Mr. Rogers says, “look for the helpers, you will always find people who are helping.” Helpers can be good friends, therapists, coaches, mentors, peers, neighbors, ministers, and even well-timed chance encounters. There’s a solution to every problem and often that solution often starts with a conversation with someone else.
Books that might help:
Transitions, William Bridges - This is a classic. Whenever I refer this book online, I get comments that folks love it.
The Search, Bruce Feiler - inspiring case studies of people making changes.
The Good Enough Job, Simone Stolzoff - I think he has another one called "How Not To Know" but haven't checked it out yet.
Mindset. The new Psychology of Success, Carol S. Dweck - counters our false ideas about how we tend to think people are "naturally" good at things.
And... I'm currently recording season two of Evolution or Revolution. I'm interviewing people who have made big changes in their lives, dealt with uncertainty, built new skills and stayed tenacious. Coming soon!
