Let’s talk about being “friendly” as an incredibly useful strategy.

Consider dogs. They’ve gone from wild wolves to domesticated cuddle buddies enjoying Pup Cups at Starbucks and napping on memory foam beds.

How did this happen? By being friendly.

Some dogs co-evolved with people by being friendly. Over time, humans and dogs developed ways of being beneficially interdependent.

Dogs approach with curiosity and positive expectation, sniffing around to see if you might be a friend (or have a treat). They have excellent “creep radar” and know when to steer clear. But when they do engage, it’s with a wagging tail and a willingness to playfully connect.

Being friendly, extending yourself, practicing open warmth or checking in with people on a human level can be a helpful in a time of epidemic loneliness, stress and disconnection.

Shifting from fear to friendliness builds needed community in a time of professional uncertainty. After all, people (and dogs) remember how you make them feel.

What Friendly Is Not:

• It’s not becoming a doormat.
• It’s not doing more for everyone around you just to be “nice.”
• It’s not ignoring your gut when it’s screaming “NOPE.”
• It’s not expecting something in return just because you did something nice.

Friendly Works in the Workplace

Friendly is about cultivating positive connections with others in a way that’s authentic and sustainable.

True friendliness relies on four pillars:

• Generosity - Being open to new connections or possibilities without expecting anything specific in return.
• Self Awareness - Taking some time to understand what support, community, involvement you are looking for so that you can find the right people (and they can find you).
• Trustworthiness - Offering help, support, or your time in ways that fit your current bandwidth and capacity so you can show up.
• Kindness - Approaching interactions with a positive mindset, ready to see the good in others.

So, if you’re feeling disconnected or isolated, try adopting a more “friendly” strategy. Approach your colleagues, your peers, even those you might not know well, with an open mind and a positive outlook.

Be willing to contribute where you can. Assume good intent in others. You’re ultimately on the same team, right? You might be surprised by the connections you make and the support you find.

Being rushed and feeling overcommitted are the barriers to extending yourself to others - we simply don’t have the bandwidth or feel too overwhelmed to connect. So, over the coming months, start building a little bandwidth in for a quick coffee, a reconnecting text or personal check in.

Remember, building a strong community doesn’t happen overnight, but each positive interaction is a step closer to creating a network that’s there for you when you need each other most. Things are uncertain right now, and making friends and building community is a great strategy.

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Related Listening

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My podcast Evolution or Revolution is all about how people make changes in their professional lives. Connection and community have been consistent themes in how we navigate new professional adventure successfully.

Evolution or Revolution Podcast

Check out:

• Kat Vellos (ep 3) shares how to reach out to your network for help or support in a way that they're most likely to respond.
• Mark Brenwall (ep 2) talks about the power of being friendly and developing community as he navigated sobriety and moving around the world to start a new chapter.

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