Instead of getting one conversation perfect, how can you use every conversation as an opportunity to build trust and connection. 

Last newsletter, I talked about repairing trust when things go sideways. 

Today I'll share how we can use every interaction to build trust in order to give yourself (and your team) more working room, more confidence to navigate uncertainty, and more ways to negotiate through difficult moments. 

I used to put a lot of pressure on one conversation to talk about a raise, a new project idea, or getting new resources. 

If that ONE conversation didn’t go as scripted, I felt it was a failure and a lost cause. (They said “no!” It’s dead! They didn't have a great response to my idea! FAIL!  ☠️)

I was wrong in my approach.

Now I see that many topics require a series of interactions over time. We’re all moving so fast that we want to cram as much info into our 15-minute window as possible (after all, its already been cancelled twice), but sometimes that is to our detriment.  

For example, getting new resources probably requires:

• Sharing prioritized lists of work with reasoning behind the priorities

• Sharing how resources are currently managed (and why)

• Developing a plan to show where new resources would be added with measurable benefits

• Sharing specifics of what will NOT happen without resources and any costs associated with NOT doing that work

• Gathering any feedback to adjust the plan or your timeline for the plan

• Following up to share a revised plan and timeline

This is a lot to cover in one meeting! Although this might not require seven separate meetings, we frequently rush right to our ask for in hopes of extracting what we want as quickly as possible.

After all, we’ve probably been obsessing over our request for awhile.

Instead, use interactions to build the relationships and conversations with sincerity and care.

Your objective isn’t to waste time, but to help people make better decisions by sharing consolidated context, other options or an overview about what has been explored.

Ultimately, you are establishing a foundation for future collaboration, problem solving and shared understanding. You want to garner support and build shared context. 

AND you want people to get to know you better - to understand how you think, what’s possible with your recommendations, and what’s been successful in your work. This also makes future conversations shorter because you are in alignment.

Relationship building includes: 

• Understanding their concerns.

• Sharing relevant context for the decision

• Providing options for other solutions (and the relative cost)

• Recommendations based on your experience 

• Being honest about what you know (and what you can find out if you're missing information)

• Collaboration with best intent for all parties

• Overview of the thinking that went into all of the above 

In fact, if you don’t get what you request, make sure interactions builds the shared understanding in a positive way. You want to demonstrate that you’re sincere, capable and reliable which will build the trust you’ll need to continue doing great work.

Interactions aren’t just meetings, they can be email, messages, etc. Help your partner track the conversation and decisions being made (and why).

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