The new year is a big “fresh start” moment - we all know the resolutions, the new ways of being, the ways this year will be different.
….And we know the stats for people dropping those resolutions in about 6 weeks or less.
And since we’re two weeks past the big moment, I thought I’d share a little about what makes change stick. And maybe if you’ve already lost the plot on your New Year’s Resolution, you can give yourself a do-over.
How do you make meaningful changes that actually stick?
What changes the dynamic from being another broken resolution to being something that drives a new behavior?
I’ve always been fascinated by what drives people to seek change and how do people successfully manage real change in their lives. The human condition orients us toward avoiding pain and grabbing the good times but what actually drives us to get on a new path successfully? And stick with it through pain or discomfort that is a normal part of making changes?
In this post, I'll share how in my experience you can increase successful outcomes:
1. What season are you in?
Understand the context of your life right now. If you have young kids, a commute, and demanding job, you’re living a season that has high demands on your time.
As my own kids get older and more self-sufficient, I realize how hard I was on myself earlier in my life—making some pretty unreasonable demands without being resourced to fulfill my plans. From there, it was a short step to piling on judgement about my shortcomings and blaming myself for failing.
But the truth was I was in a season that was fully booked. My goals didn’t match my availability. Could I fit in exercise? Sure, but probably not at the levels I expected myself to be able to.
Understanding the season you’re in can help you set right-sized goals.
2. What is the low bar and the high bar?
Often, we set an expectation that’s too high at the start. What if you set your bar so it was impossible to fail? Set a range for accomplishment instead of just one binary goal of pass/fail.
Even one sentence in a journal fulfills the goal of writing everyday. Even a few push ups and squats counts for the exercise goal. The low bar makes it so easy to do that you’re likely to succeed.
I’d also recommend setting the high bar in fairly achievable range. So, at most, you’re writing 20 minutes a day. Or going on a 30 minute walk. The high bar will also seem fairly easy compared to how you’ve set targets in the past.
The point of having a low bar and a low-high bar isn’t to limit what your upper performance might be, but to give you an onramp to do the damn thing in the first place. Once you’ve got a solid practice in place, you can adjust or change your parameters. (But if you never get a solid practice in place, you’ll never have enough started.)
3. Why are you doing this? For the sake of what?
My clients hear this question all the time - FTSOW are you doing this? By connecting to a reason that has true value and meaning we’re more likely to stay the course than if it’s a goal not grounded in anything that matters to you on a deeper level.
Fitness tied to other core values like adventure, travel and freedom is definitely motivating because it connects what matters to you.
4. What’s likely to stop you? How can you be ready for that moment?
What has stopped you in the past?
Frequently our resolutions aren’t brand new shiny ideas. We’ve gone a couple rounds with them. So, think back and remember what the heck happens when you’re stopped? How do you bail?
Maybe it’s not giving yourself the extra 20 minutes of childcare that allows you get in the activity. (You assumed you could do yoga and hang with your kid and… that isn’t working.)
If your goal is dependent on something like weather which you can’t control,
Make a plan for what happens when you inevitably run into the rainy day. Run that scenario in your mind a few times or make a note of it. Try it out on a not-rainy day to make sure it’s going to work.
Predict blocks and plan around them.
5. What’s “finished” or “success” look like for this phase?
Our culture promotes a never ending cycle of “more” without defining “enough”. It’s a set up for always feeling less than. We compare ourselves to what someone else is doing. We keep raising the bar. We strike out with no finish line in place.
Ambition without direction is wasting time.
Think about what success would look like for phase one of your resolution. For example, if you want to move your body daily can you make a commitment to do it two times in the next week?
What is enough “healthy eating”?
What does an “improved relationship” look like once it is improved?
Again, I’m not advocating for lowering your standards, but being able to succeed and finish phase one makes it more likely you are willing and able to add a phase two.
Finishing something builds trust in yourself. Experimenting with new practices or ways of being means marking the wins along with way to keep our spirits up. End markers act as positive reinforcement, generating more energy and confidence towards continued change.
6. Define more fresh starts
Don’t just lean on January 1. Commit to starting something new at the beginning of a month, at an anniversary, at a birthday or quarterly. Give yourself more chances to get back on track or start a fresh habit.
Change isn’t a one and done moment. It’s an evolution of introducing the new thing again and again over time until it’s not new anymore but part of how you live. Giving yourself more chances is like giving yourself more at-bats. Sometimes its a swing and a miss but you could also hit a home run.
Other ideas to keep you on track:
Never skip a Monday - easy to remember, gives you a strong start for the week with success right away and sets a tone for the week.
Have an accountability partner - text a pic, have a chat, text an emoji, book a spa day for successful outcomes - anything that says “hey, I did it” or “hey, I need help”. Accountability, support and celebration with a friend are key pillars to changing behavior.
Create a visual reminder - a Post-It note, an image (especially powerful to our brains), a bracelet, a small memento or object that acts as a reminder making it harder to forget.
Make it easier to do Step One - set out the clothes, set up the writing space, download the applications and print them out. Do whatever pre-work is necessary for Step One to be easy.
Spend the money- while I don’t love recommending “spend money”, it is sometimes comical about how stingy we will be with ourselves and how much we lose by not just spending some money for a lesson, a delivery, a better tennis racquet, a task taken off your plate to make room, etc. It’s not always buying the “stuff” but buying the support, the time, the faster way to learn that really jump starts a goal.
And with that, I wish you a very happy new year. May 2026 bring you into alignment with what’s most important in your life.
